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Tuesday, March 10th, 2009
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7:43 pm
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Hey darling,
I hope you're good tonight.
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving.
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it.
Tell me something sweet to get me by,
'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing
La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
Well it might be for the best.
Hey sweetie,
I need you here tonight,
And I know that you don't wanna be leaving me
Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it.
I just feel complete when you're by my side,
But I know you can't come home till they're singing
La, la la la, la la la,
Till everyone is singing.
La, la la la, la la la.
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear to you that we can make this last.
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home,
Then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past.
It might be for the best.
You know you can't give me what I need.
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can't wait through everything,
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again.
And don't you dare say we can just be friends.
I'm not some boy girl that you can sway.
We knew it'd happen eventually.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
La, la la la, la la la,
Now everybody's singing.
current mood:  cold
current music: A Day To Remember-"If It Means A Lot To You"
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| Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
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5:31 pm
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John 3:16-For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
3:18-He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
3:19-And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
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| Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
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11:06 pm
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Emotive unstable you're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived that you're no better than...
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marked your heart
You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)
You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
(Don't drop your arms)
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in
current mood:  cheerful
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| Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
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4:33 pm - [genius!!!!!!!!!]
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THE VICE GUIDE TO EATING VAGINA..
Men should live by this guide:
For women never having received good oral sex, and every man in existance that is bad at it. (Perhaps your girlfriend wouldn't mind giving you a blow job if you didn't lick her vagina like a dog with peanut butter stuck to the roof of it's mouth.)
May the learning process begin:
BE DOWN
Don't go down unless you're down. Unlike fellatio, cunnilingus can never be done as a favor. Doing it when you don't want to will only bring on the dry heaves. Eat like a pig at the trough and a lot of stupid mistakes get forgiven.
DON'T SAY HI TO DRY
A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers graze a dry bush, go back to the kissing and hugging for awhile. Just make sure you actually dip your finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets trapped between the labia and a little fingerial coaxing is all that's needed to get the honey dripping.
Once you're sure the beaver is wet, give it a few light, teasing strokes with your finger. There's nothing worse than rushing into this, so make sure she's really begging for it before you get under the covers.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger that both of you can share like a 1950s milkshake with two straws.
Important: Don't play your trump card too soon by putting your fingers all the way inside. This can detract from the upcoming penetration and kill the tease factor. Try to remember that 78% of a woman's pleasure is about yearning. Poking it in too soon is sure to put out the fire.
SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY
Once she's lathered up, it's time to go down. Get your fingers out of there and don't touch anything for a bit. Let your lap do a bit of grinding and get some last-minute necking in like you're going away on vacation.
Though it's very tempting on your way down to pull the blankets over your head like the little mole-man that you are, this is a very bad idea. It gets super hot down there and whipping the duvet off your head and gasping for air ten seconds before she comes is pretty much going to kill the mood.
Start by kissing her boobs and stomach and slowly working your way down. Don't get carried away with those stupid tits, though. That's something you should have taken care of before the pants even came off. Right now it's all about the stomach and inner thighs. A little bit of gentle biting is good, but a sure winner is to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a slow, shark-like swoop. Nibble your way right up to the edge of her cunt, then skip across it and head for the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will get her really hot and save you a lot of pussy-eating time in the long run.
When you're just about ready to do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice next to the lips. Don't spend too long there or she might start to think that you think that's the actual cunt.
By now she should be dying for you to make your move. If you're doing it right, she'll be moaning and trying to force your head between her legs. Stretch this phase out until she looks like she's been holding her breath for three days.
Extra trick: Hover over the bush for about five seconds before the first lick. If you wait longer than that, she might think you're having second thoughts because it smells bad. Of course, we all knows that motherfucker smells sweeter than a bowl of steamin' crawdaddies.
Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsoever. If this needs more explaining you should probably just stick to jerking off.
PARTING THE RED SEAS
Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating pussy what cavities are to dental hygiene. You're never going to be able to identify all the parts if she looks like that PIL album That What is Not. One hot trick is to get her to spread her lips apart so her pussy is all set up for you like a great big buffet.
(PS. Pubes are gross. Man or woman, it's just fucking gross. Do your partner a favor and be gone with the bush.)
THE GRAND ENTRANCE
Do your first lick super slow. It's good to groan and moan too. It shows you're digging it while sending microscopic audiophonic vibrations right up her snapper. Start just above the anus and take it all the way to the fur. Do about a dozen of these "St. Bernard licks" before moving on (take it really slow, like four seconds per lick). This is a good time to figure out what kind of clit she has. If it's real sensitive she'll probably convulse as you pass over it and that means you're probably in for an easy ride. If there's no reaction when you graze over her clit, she probably has one of those nerveless little pea clits and you're in for a thirty-minute session of tongue-tendinitis.
ROCK THE BOAT
Eating pussy is so gentle it can make you feel like a bit of a fag. If you're getting tired of being ballerina boy, take it out on the clit. Figure out how much abuse it can take without making her uncomfortable and show the little bastard who's boss.
After all, Mr. Elusive is precisely what makes muff diving so difficult. He's surrounded by labia and, even after you find him, all the pressure can pop him over to the side. All of a sudden you're giving the pee hole the seeing to of its life. Think of the clit like a tumor in a pile of ear lobes. When you push down on the area he's the only one that can't be squished. Once one of your tongue troopers finds him, call for reinforcements. Use your lips to get hers out of the way and focus all your attention into getting him alone. Once you find him, give him a bit of a hard time for trying to hide from you. Frisk him and give him a couple of whacks across the head. More on this punk and his bad attitude later.
Extra important tip: The best way to stimulate the clit is to run your entire tongue over it after you isolate it from the lips. The man in the boat should feel the texture of the entire tongue pushing down on his body and his boat.
IDENTIFYING THE CLIT TYPE
After the slow licks it's time to get this party started. There are essentially two types of clitori. Ones that enjoy a serious going over and ones that don't. The latter suck about as much as a one-inch penis and you should dump her right away.
Extra tip: Clits come in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that doesn't really tell you much. All of them want to be treated slow and soft at the beginning but the only way to tell if you can go fast at the end is by reading her reactions. This is impossible to teach but just do the best you can. All we can tell you is convulsing means take it ease and "Oh my God" means bring it on.
CLITS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER
These are the most fun because you can be creative. Pretend your tongue is the bad cop and the clit is the guy who killed your partner. Separate him from his buddies (the lips) and suck him right up into your mouth. Now he's on your turf. Keep him erect by creating an air-tight vacuum chamber in your mouth. Slap the little bugger upside the head with one big tongue bonk. He's not going to tell you shit because he's a clit and he has no idea what you're talking about, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers and swirling circles, rat-a-tat-tat him senseless like a boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking out like it's too much, ease up on the interrogation and go back to the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a great way to bring her to orgasm, but it's a bit much sometimes, so mix things up with some circles around the clit and some tongue fucking.
As you're closing in for the kill, go back to the vacuum and give the suspect a relentless head smacking. Up-and-downies are usually the most effective, but your tongue will get less tired if you throw in a few side-to-sides. When you feel the inner thighs start to shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Do NOT be creative. You're almost home and this is not the time to start changing tactics.
Extra tip: To keep the rhythm going, try repeating a chant in your head that goes with the movement of your tongue like a Mic Mac Indian (hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya, hi-yi-yi-ya). Any inconsistent action may throw her off, killing the mood or at least setting you back a few minutes, which is bad for morale.
Important: Keep going several seconds after her orgasm. Remember, it isn't over until the hands come down from above and lay you off. If she's multi-orgasmic you'll have to keep going until you've done the whole routine another four or five times. If you're not sure what to do, just keep giving her shit until the magic hands come down to pull you off.
CLITS THAT DON'T
Some clits don't want to be singled out and battered around. These are the boring ones that need to be treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard licks until she cums, pure and simple. If you're getting bored try going in some different directions for a while. A good way to keep it random is to spell out different letters of the alphabet with the tip of your tongue. You could be looking at half an hour here pal, and that can be problematic. If you go for that long and she doesn't cum, you're going to be in a foul mood, so if it's too much work, move on. On the bright side, going for thirty minutes is something few people have the patience for, so sticking it out will lead to some payback when period week comes around.
THE CONCLUSION
Once you're done (totally finished) she's going to want you out of there pronto because the whole area is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick out your tongue and lay it down on her like a thick, soggy carpet. Make sure you don't move it or anything because that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a dead manta ray for about thirty seconds. Then come up and wipe your face like a pirate. You now have a good minute to get the condom on and take her from the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad Saddat to the cockpit of an F-15.
- GAVIN MCINNES
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| Thursday, September 13th, 2007
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3:16 pm
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I've fallen...and I'm not sure I want to get back up.
current mood:  ecstatic
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| Monday, December 25th, 2006
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9:30 am
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Not only is it christmas, but today's Audrey's birthday. She would've been 20 years old today.
Why does god take away the most amazing people ?
=[
Her death made me question my faith a bit, but I know she's in a better place and she's not in pain, and god took her for a reason. But why does it have to hurt so much?
I hope her family is doing okay.
current mood:  crushed
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| Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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9:15 pm
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Now listen I think you and me have come to the end of our time,
What d'you want some kind of reaction?
Well, OK, that's fine,
Alright, how would it make you feel if I said you that you never made me cum?
In the year and a half that we spent together,
Yeah, I never really had much fun.
All those times that I said I was sober,
Well I'm afraid I lied,
I'd be lying next to you, you next to me,
All the while I was high as a kite.
I could see it in your face when you give it to me gently,
Yeah, you really must think you're great,
Let's see how you feel in a couple of weeks,
When I work my way through your mates.
I never wanted it to end up this way,
You've only got yourself to blame,
I'm gonna tell them that you're rubbish in bed now
And that you're small in the game.
I saw you thought this was gonna be easy,
Well, you're out of luck.
Yeah, let's rewind, let's turn back time to when you couldn't get it up,
You know what it shoulda ended there,
That's when I shoulda shown you the door.
As if that weren't enough to deal with,
You became premature.
I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being kinda mental,
But you left me in such a state.
But now I'm gonna do what you did to me,
Gonna reciprocate.
I love lily allen. =]
current mood:  amused
current music: Lily Allen-"not big"
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| Friday, December 1st, 2006
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7:40 am
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5:45 this morning i walk in the bathroom and my cat had two babies. =]
i'm a kitty mama.yaaay
she just popped out a third.they are soooo cute.
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| Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
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9:19 pm
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fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck being sick.
current mood:  annoyed
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| Friday, September 1st, 2006
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12:31 pm
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so my birthday's coming up and i found these awesome shirts on cottonfactory.com.
these are all amazing.<3 (size adult small..i need new shirts)
current mood: chipper
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| Thursday, August 17th, 2006
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3:08 pm
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You had the best
But you gave her up
'Cause dependency might interrupt
Idealistic will so hard to please
Put your indecisive mind at ease
You broke the set
Now there's only singles
There's no looking back
This time I mean it
Are you happy now?
How is it now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy?
The uncertainty you had of me
Brought cloudy shady company
The tenderness habitual
A seldom-fading ritual
You killed the pair
Now only one is breathing
There's no looking back
This time I mean it
No more leaning on your shoulder
I won't be there, no more bother
If you feel you just might want me
That's too bad, I'm not the easy
The contemplator all those years
Now you must adhere
To your new career of liberation
You've been cast all by yourself
You're free at last You broke the set
Now there's only singles
There's no looking back
This time I mean it
You're by yourself
All by yourself
You have no one else
You're by yourself
current mood: annoyed
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| Thursday, April 27th, 2006
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6:16 pm
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You're a fucking piece of shit.
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| Monday, April 24th, 2006
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8:06 pm
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at this very moment, life is GREAT
current mood: content
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| Saturday, November 5th, 2005
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4:37 pm
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comment to be added whores
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